My dad is a social butterfly. He's your new best friend as soon as you meet him. He'll regale you with stories, fun memories, and tell you all about the beer you're currently drinking - ale or lager, barleywine, doppelbock, or sour, the type of yeast and hops that went into it. If you go into an establishment in the vicinity of Thomasville, NC with more than 25 people in it there's almost a mathematical certainty you'll meet someone who knows him.
Mama bear is a different story. Much like bears, she prefers the isolation of camping in the woods or, her favorite, the river. And not glamping either. She'll go paddle on her kayak for hours (she's got the tan to prove it), and then go sit on the patio with her pup - blissfully away from potentially 'rona-carrying members of the public.
I'm somewhere in between. People define themselves these days by personality types like the Myers-Briggs test or the My Creative Type from Adobe. Side note: I don't know if this still holds true, but when I was on Tinder and Bumble years ago it seemed like EVERYONE posted their M-B type. Like dog or cat or food preferences, whatever 4-letter acronym the test said you were helped narrow down your dating prospects. As if I was going through profiles like, "ESTP?! Ha! Swipe left!"
Supposedly, I'm an INFJ, which means Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, and Judging - the profile is the Advocate. It says things like I'm compassionate and creative and I dislike conflict or criticism of self. Which are true; I'm creative - I like to draw and think abstractly - and stubborn when I think I'm right. I'm also empathic and try to avoid conflicts. And I don't like people criticizing me which is probably why I avoid social media and writing. Alas, here I am, writing. Foreshadowing, much?
I tend to be more introverted. I can put my headphones in and work for hours (shameless plug for my favorite noise-canceling headphones: Phiaton), go play basketball by myself, and sit and drink a tasty glass of vino or rum old-fashioned and ponder life.
But I love people. I love being around people and talking and conversing and just chatting about whatever the topic du jour is. I can strike up a conversation with anyone, just because I like to hear people's voices, make them laugh - I'll even create awkward situations just because it's a memorable moment and I feel like it will break the ice.
Going back to my personality test, it says,
"I tend to have a gift for intuitively understanding relationships and complex meanings."
Continuing, "I often have a lot of empathy for others, allowing me to easily understand the feelings of their partner, peers, family, and friends." This is probably the most accurate statement about me. My partner's dad once told me that I have a unique ability to talk to anyone, regardless of their background - or something like that, I wasn't listening.
Kidding! He did say that and I took it to heart because it was one of the first times someone made an observation like that out of the blue.
Others notice it, too. In exit interviews with past employers, many of the comments were centered around how quickly I was able to integrate into the team or member circle. How some of my best qualities were working with people to help solve problems or simply be there for them.
In school I was very shy (claaaaassic introvert). I moved to a new school in 4th grade and never really felt like I fit in. Though I knew everyone because it was a small school I never had a ton of close friends. I observed a lot from afar and thinking back now it's interesting what I noticed, though that deep dive is for another day. Once I got to college, I sought to change that. I forced myself to be outgoing and met a lot of great people who are still a part of my life.
There's another quote I like from Fast & Furious: Tokyo Drift where Han says,
"It's who you choose to be around that lets you know who you are."
I'm not exactly a social butterfly - but I'm not a bear either. And I try not to let things like personality tests define me. I know who I am, and the profiles can be a guide - but it's not all I am. I choose to work to be better at things. Though I tend to be introverted, I work to be extroverted so I can build relationships. I might be stubborn, but I Iisten to and understand new points of view so I can see how they apply.
And though I don't like criticism, I'll keep surrounding myself with people who give it to me, so I can continue to grow as a person.
Side note 2: it should technically be extrAvert, but this isn't a Latin history blog.
Thanks, @cookie.thepom, for the high-quality selfie.
More like ur mom than u know